balance is necessary but rarely a reality

a ghost from the past
10:46 a.m., 2004-07-14

i went to dallas for 5 days around the 4th of July and got to see lots of friends. i had so much fun and set off/saw fireworks 3 times.

i saw some friends that i haven't seen in 6 years or so and it was interesting. the first guy i ever kissed was there. he was so gloomy and he doesn't seem like he has any joy in his life. how do you get to that point? there has been a time in my life when i didn't really care about what i did or about my job or anything but i always could have some kind of enjoyment. what does he live for if he can't take joy in anything? i don't understand. i just want to shake him and find out what made him this way and find a way to make it all better. i know i can't. but that doesn't change the fact that i want to.

he used to be so charismatic and such a socialite. it's sad. i hope things get better for him.

throwing babies in the air
11:13 a.m., 2004-06-28

i woke up this morning and found a flea biting my neck...

this is disturbing. gross.

my supervisor called...we get both friday and monday off around July 4th because we have been doing such a good job. Yea! maybe i can go to ausin or something.

this weekend was great! i had date night friday night, saturday i sat around and did nothing all day, and yesterday i went to the park and played with the puppies. unfortunately, my arms got tan...well tan for me.

My sister called me yesterday...she's pregnant...and my friend krystal and her husband are expecting their second one soon. crazy. everyone's married and having babies...they should stop. seriously. stop.

coffee and chocolate...life's necessities.
12:36 p.m., 2004-06-21

i love coffee!!

what will i do if someday God calls me to be a missionary out of nowhere and i have to go someplace where coffee is not available or i'm too poor to buy it.

that would be a tragedy.

a life without chocolate would be even worse.

what do you know.
12:29 p.m., 2004-06-21

N	New
A	Appreciative
K	Kind
E	Exciting
D	Dysfunctional
P	Pretty
R	Radiant
E	Exquisite
Y	Young

Name / Username:

Name Acronym Generator
From Go-Quiz.com i don't think i'm all that dysfunctionaly though. i might be a little but aren't we all.

going to the big house
2:17 p.m., 2004-06-02

I'm losing my boyfriend. for a month.

i'm very sad, i will miss him. but we haven't been apart for longer than a week since we started dating. at least this will give me time to think and figure stuff out.

damn dog
5:43 p.m., 2004-05-29

what is the best way to kill a dog without anyone suspecting?...

how generosity bites back
5:39 p.m., 2004-05-29

i hardly ever get things back that i loan out...books, cds, dvds....and of course i rarely remember who i let borrow them. you would think i would learn, but i don't.

i REALLy wanted to watch life as a house last night...but i let someone borrow it and for the life of me i can't remember who i loaned it to.

sigh...

so if i let someone borrow something and they don't give it back...does that make them theives or does it just make me stupid.

in the yesterdaze
12:18 p.m., 2004-05-26

i have become part of the collection...

somewhere i lost an intregal part of myself.

life is a party....right?
4:51 p.m., 2004-05-18

okay...

a situation (such as poverty, education level, or heartbreak) does not negate your responsibility to make wise choices.

you are not exused from being a person just because of who you are or what you are going through. you feel pain...you are not the only one! people deal with heartache everyday. that does not mean that it is okay to ruin your body and your life. the world does not stop and say "i know you're hurting so you can do whatever you feel like and you won't have to pay the consequences."

you have made your bed and now you will have to sleep in it.

a wise old man.
9:29 a.m., 2004-05-04

today i feel like confuscious...

maybe i should write fortune cookies.

meow
9:43 a.m., 2004-04-23

i want to be reincarnated into a cat. cats have the best lives. they don't care what you want them to do or be. they just eat, sleep, and play. a lot of people hate cats, but i think some of them really envy a cat's freedom to do whatever it wants to.

vulnerable and lovin' it
10:31 a.m., 2004-04-20

someone has commented on this screen name so i will explain. it is not sad, depressing, self-pity, or fatalistic.

when I made this I was feeling...open, honest, and vulnerable. in a good way. in the way that says, "yes, i am vulnerable but i dare you to try and hurt me" way. because if you don't ever open yourself up, you'll never completely know what it means to truely live.

new house
10:10 a.m., 2004-04-13

my mom bought a new house. it is way out in the middle of princeton (population 2400). It takes longer to get anywhere and is not conveniently 25 min. from downtown Dallas like our old home, but it is cute and still easy to get to all my friends in Dallas so I guess I can't complain.

It is a little weird to say goodbye to my old bedroom. I grew up in that little bedroom and it has seen all my teenage heartache and many long nights where I laid awake struggling with my thoughts and fears. It saw me kiss my first boyfriend ever and cry when he broke my heart, it saw me try to deal with the death of my friends, it saw me throw things out of frustration everytime my stepfather said or did something mean and nasty to to my mother, it saw me on my knees calling to God for the first time in my life, it saw the joy of my first car, my first "real" concert, my first road trip, my first kisses.....

*sigh* is it weird to think that all those experiences and emotions have soaked into the walls and become part of the room? i feel as though it became my friend as it became my sanctuary.

so goodbye old friend. you have been good to me and i will miss you.